Definitive Leading

I've been thinking about leading on a couple of moves and how that's reflected in life.

As a leader it's difficult for me to be as definitive as I'd like.  Some of it is bad habits - I tend to drop my right elbow, my frame isn't as stable and reliable as I'd like, and when I get to thinking I've had several partners tell me they can feel me "go away" in my body.  Well, yes, that's because I'm up in my head.  This is particularly problematic when I'm having challenges with traffic and floorcraft, or when I'm not planning ahead on figures I want to lead.  A lot of the time, I'm late with my lead, or I just can't remember how a particular figure starts.

All this is just stuff that will more or less get fixed by lots of practice and by getting dancing out of my head and into my body.

But there are things about my lead that I have to fix in my head, and that's interesting.

I was working with Mighty Mini-Teach on Foxtrot the other day and we happened to be working on both Grapevine and Senior walks.  They both start the same way, with my second step going outside partner, and I've had a few partners pick up on that and assume we were doing grapevine, when I meant to lead Senior walk.  Or at least I thought I did.  Tenatively.

Anyway, I asked MMT "How do I lead this so you know it's senior walk, not grapevine?".  She said "You have to cut me off".  I tried, tentatively, and she stressed "No, you have to REALLY cut me off".

A lot of the vagueness in my lead is due to my deference to my partner and my lack of confidence in my own moves.  I certainly don't want to be a pushy dancer, but I bet I could stand to make that mistake for a change as a learning exercise and be just fine.  I need to get over myself and be willing to cut off my partner when I need to, and to pay her the respect of just expecting her to follow that.


Definitive, explicit, confident leads.  It's something we both want.