Why I keep coming back to Tango

There are no mistakes in tango.  This has meaning on so many levels.  The simplest is that without set figures and steps, nothing is off the table - you can

attempt anything, and hopefully you can make it beautiful (some movements make this easier than others of course).

Tango is sexy and passionate and intimate and filled with longing and strife and anger and tenderness and beauty.

It's uniquely challenging and difficult.  I like difficult things, it turns out.

It demands a level of balance and awareness and body control that I didn't experience in other dances.  Not that other dances lack that, I just think that it comes later in the learning sequence.  With Tango it begins on day 1.  I danced ballroom styles for over a year and didn't realize that I was essentially falling onto every step the whole time.  Once I started tango, I figured it out in about a week, and started correcting it in the first month.  And this vastly improved all my other dancing.

The music is beautiful.  And various.  You can dance tango to nearly anything, because it's so improvisational and flexible.  You can tango to classic tangos (Bahia Blanca is a favorite of mine, along with "Por una Cabeza" (Scent of a Woman" and "True Lies"), or modern tangos ("Whatever Lola Wants", "Roxanne") or waltzes ("valz" in spanish), to pop music.  I've tangoed to Adele "Make you Feel my Love", to Elvis Costello "Watching the Detectives", to Lorde "Royals" and Amy Winehouse " I'm no good" - a wonderful fit for tango.

The Gallantry and old school chivalry of dancing in general holds very much in tango, and that appeals to me as well.  The man leads, and the woman follows, but the goal is to provide a pleasant and fulfilling experience for the woman.  She should be intrigued, happy, and feel like she is dancing beautifully and that all are looking on her with amazement and envy.

I'm most familiar with the leader's role and responsibilities, but the woman's is no less daunting.  I've tried to follow, and being on your axis and prepared to move in any direction requires an alertness and a kind of a zen mind that I found supremely challenging.  Another factor (shared with other dances) is the fact that when something is led, the woman must aggressively pursue and execute the step or move.  A combination of stillness and motion, of waiting peacefully, and moving confidently, and a willingness to essentially trade the lead with the man as the music inspires is required.

The man must quickly learn and dance to his partner's level of experience and vocuabulary, and his lead must be authoritative and unmistakeable while still being gentle and considerate of however long her response may take.  If any signals get crossed (either through a vague lead or difficulty following), the man must seamlessly accommodate whatever has actually happened, ideally without ever letting on to his partner or observers that anything unexpected has occurred.  The woman should always feel that she knows what is being asked of her, and should never feel like she performed anything less than perfectly.  The man must be able and willing to give her time to dance as the music inspires her, and there will be times when she is inspired to change her pace or include embellishments or even perform something that was not explicitly led.  A leader must always have a plan, but when the lady requests time or even takes the lead, he must smoothly and elegantly accommodate that.  At all times the man must dance with confidence.  There are no mistakes in tango, and the man must ensure that.

Leading

I've gotten compliments on my clear lead, and that makes me happy.

I've been thinking about my dancing and some recent classes, and a friend was kind enough to provide me some video.

Now that I have a clear lead, I want it to be compelling.  I want it to have drive and momentum.

I also need to keep improving my posture....


Addendum - during a private lesson I was told that my lead was too light.  Granted, the woman who said that needs only the lightest of leads, some followers seem only to respond to a very heavy lead and a lot of waiting....

Two Leaders - Argentine Tango

I've been spending a lot of time dancing Argentine Tango lately, and at a recent milonga, I witnessed a vision of two leaders.

The first was dancing with what I suspect was his girlfriend, she danced with him several times, though not every dance.  She also danced with other men but he didn't dance with other women.  She was definitely the better dancer, I suspect that she was introducing him to Tango.

He wasn't a total beginner, he knew salida and a few other moves.  But what  drove me crazy (and I suspect, his dance partner as well) was his tentativeness.  He didn't keep a rhythm, he was hesitant when he moved, and when he wasn't moving he was nervous and twitchy.  I kept seeing what looked like false starts and indecision. His partner seemed nervous and hyper-alert, she realized she had no idea what was coming next, and neither did he, and it could happen at any instant, without warning.  It looked as though he was second guessing himself until he figured out the right thing - he'd have been better off doing the wrong thing calmly, definitively and rhythmically.

The second was  a young man, but obviously experienced.  He was calm and rhythmic and deliberate.  His dancing was simple and unadorned, but very clear and patient.  I saw him dance with a woman I know who's had about six months of ballroom dancing and basically an hour or so of Argentine Tango, and he made her look beautiful and graceful and elegant.  When she did something different than he led, he just handled it without lifting an eyebrow.  When things got tricky, he just slowed everything down - he would just be still for a few beats, and then he would start moving again in half time.  And when he was still, he was so beautifully still.  He wasn't just static and frozen either, he'd move or sway or change his embrace but he was able to do it in a way that told his partner "we're just being still right now".  When he moved she knew it just enough in advance.  Everything he did looked (and I imagine felt) inevitable.

I so badly want to be guy number 2.

So here's my plan.

Work on frame and lead and clarity first.  Figures and moves come later.

Be willing to just be still.  Learn what movements say "we're staying here" vs "we're moving now".  Learn to eliminate anything that's twitchy or indeterminate.  Decide to be still, and communicate that.

Let go of the beat and don't try too hard to follow the music.  Remember that it's easy to dance too fast (for your partner, or your skill level, or your ability to lead), but it's nearly impossible to dance too slowly.

Dance Simply.

Definitive Leading

I've been thinking about leading on a couple of moves and how that's reflected in life.

As a leader it's difficult for me to be as definitive as I'd like.  Some of it is bad habits - I tend to drop my right elbow, my frame isn't as stable and reliable as I'd like, and when I get to thinking I've had several partners tell me they can feel me "go away" in my body.  Well, yes, that's because I'm up in my head.  This is particularly problematic when I'm having challenges with traffic and floorcraft, or when I'm not planning ahead on figures I want to lead.  A lot of the time, I'm late with my lead, or I just can't remember how a particular figure starts.

All this is just stuff that will more or less get fixed by lots of practice and by getting dancing out of my head and into my body.

But there are things about my lead that I have to fix in my head, and that's interesting.

I was working with Mighty Mini-Teach on Foxtrot the other day and we happened to be working on both Grapevine and Senior walks.  They both start the same way, with my second step going outside partner, and I've had a few partners pick up on that and assume we were doing grapevine, when I meant to lead Senior walk.  Or at least I thought I did.  Tenatively.

Anyway, I asked MMT "How do I lead this so you know it's senior walk, not grapevine?".  She said "You have to cut me off".  I tried, tentatively, and she stressed "No, you have to REALLY cut me off".

A lot of the vagueness in my lead is due to my deference to my partner and my lack of confidence in my own moves.  I certainly don't want to be a pushy dancer, but I bet I could stand to make that mistake for a change as a learning exercise and be just fine.  I need to get over myself and be willing to cut off my partner when I need to, and to pay her the respect of just expecting her to follow that.


Definitive, explicit, confident leads.  It's something we both want.

New Studios - group Salsa classes

I danced Salsa at a couple of new studios fairly recently.  No particular reason - I just had a free spot in my schedule, wanted to learn some Salsa, and my "home" studio didn't have anything scheduled, so I went looking for group classes elsewhere I could just walk into.

The Downtown Studio I tried was a lot of fun.  Did a 1 hour beginner's class followed immediately by a 1 hour intermediate class.  Started with basic, underarm turn, cross body lead, so the same progression I was used to.  The class was about 8 men and 7 women (or thereabouts).

The intermediate class got into cross body lead variations, including leading from a handshake hold, and a cross body lead variation where the lady does a full spin rather than the normal half spin, ending up stopped (briefly) in a shadow position (I don't remember the terminology for this, I want to say it was a stopped cross body lead, but I'm not confident of that).  I've since tried that move, and don't have it even remotely down.  I think I'm not clear on how to differentiate the lead.  The last few minutes of the class were the teachers demonstrating all the variations possible with just the underarm turn and the cross body lead.  Fun time at the downtown studio, and they were cheap and friendly, and the male teacher was pretty funny.  He made a comment about his frustrated stand-up comedy career that I came to suspect was more serious than it sounded at first.  But it was fine, he was funny enough that you didn't mind it at all.  Maybe not Seinfeld funny, but, then he's probably a better dancer than Jerry, anyway.

The Northside studio was also cheap and fun, but does half hour lessons.  The teacher managed to put a lot into the lesson, and it didn't feel rushed.  One advantage here was it was me and one woman (just by chance), so it was basically a mini-private lesson - I love it when that happens, though the teachers/studio probably doesn't.  I suppose it's better for them than nobody.

The woman at Northside was a club dancer of some considerable experience, but little or no "official" instruction, and wanted to learn a move where "He combs my hair".  I had no idea what that meant, but the instructor knew immediately.  He asked me what I knew, and I said basic, mambo basic, underarm turn, cross body lead, open break, ... whereupon he stopped me and said "that's enough".

The sequence he taught us was 1 basic, alternating turns, then the "hair comb" lead into a cross body lead.  I'm probably getting the terminology wrong.  Anyway it went well, though I hate turning - avoiding turning is the best part of being a boy, in my opinion.  I mentioned that and the teacher very diplomatically reminded me that in Latin cultures, men are more expressive and showy.  I knew that, and it's not an insecurity or "real man" type of deal, I just get dizzy and fall over.  Yes, even on a little salsa step turn.  I'm sure I'll get over it, but...

Anyway, we worked on the sequence and got it down.  The fact that the lady was a club dancer was pretty obvious to me as we were dancing - her frame was way looser than I'm used to - that's not really criticism, by the way (well, a little...), it was just a very insecure and unpredictable feeling compared to what I'm used to.  I don't know of any way to deal with that except to try to get used to it and adapt to it, (which is my responsibility as the leader), or to try to figure out a polite and helpful way to ask for a firmer frame.  I suspect this is an consequence of the fact that I'm a noob and the really solid mutual frame is my training wheels.  Not that mine is all that wonderful, Mini-Teach is constantly reminding me not to drop my right arm, and rightly so.

I also felt like she was maybe rushing the walkthrough on the cross body lead a bit.  The teacher had pointed out that she could step fully forward, not stopping her back foot parallel to her front, and she had a hard time getting that into her body (I feel for you, sister, when I need to alter my semi-automatic body habits, it's a hell of a challenge for me, too).  Anyway, I didn't feel like my lead was as in control of the timing as I'd have liked as a consequence.  I've been trained that the sidestep back and away by the man (on 3) is the lead (and only the lead), and that the lady walks through on 5-6-7.  She was powering through on 3 or 4, and I didn't feel like I was out of her way enough, as I hadn't back rocked yet.  I'm not sure if she was following my lead or just doing the sequence on her own.  I'd like to lead that better.  And of course, I need 500 or 1000 repetitions.  On the other hand, I think I could work this sequence out with a new partner in a couple three dances at most.  The instructor was very helpful and explicit and clear when I asked how to differentiate the "hair comb" lead from underarm turns and other figures.

Anyway, good times.  At some point I'll post studio reviews, but I want to try several lessons at each before I do so, and time and money will make that a longer term project.  In the mean time, if you want a studio recommendation despite my limited experience, contact me.

Update:  the proper terminology for "Hair Comb" is "face loop".  Of course.  For a guy that's incredibly verbal and spends most of his time all up in his head, I sure have a hard time learning terminology.

Argentine Tango and Lindy Hop

I took a couple Argentine tango classes, which are real eye-openers.  I've mentioned I'm a slave to the beat, I can always hear and hit the beat, even when there are other beats in the air.  I'm not steady enough to be a drummer, but I can get back on the beat pretty well (yes, I did play trumpet back in the day, why do you ask?).  Anyway, those Argentines consider hitting the beat an optional extra.  But god, it's beautiful and passionate and intimate, and it looks to be all about feeling where your partner is at, and communicating what you want.  Without the crutch of the beat.  Sensitivity and Leading.  Apparently Argentine is the original tango, American/Ballroom tango is the derived form. Yet another dance I have to learn.

I also ended up in a lindy hop class.  I was afraid it was too advanced for me, but it turns out it's just a jitterbug with kicking.  Actually, apparently, lindy hop is actually the original dance, and jitterbug is the later sub-form (which makes sense, it's easier).  Thank you wikipedia.  Anyway, it worked out well, because I feel pretty good about my jitterbug.  Plus, it's like the happiest dance ever.  Impossible not to smile.

I'm such a sucker for a Waltz

Spent some focused time waltzing last night in preparation for an upcoming seekrit projeckt.  Some notes to myself.

Turning your box happens on side-together (2-3 and 5-6), not the forward/back steps (1 and 3).  I have a tendency to curve my backstep in particular.  I don't even think about it, now I have to.  Which resulted in some confused leads yesterday evening.

Leading on twinkle is a lot about rise and fall and planting us both on the landing on count 3, creating an opportunity for my partner to change weight and be on the proper foot.  My partner kept ending up on the wrong foot, and having a hard time distinguishing between my leads for twinkle and for promenade hesitation.  You'll say (and I was tempted to) "well, can't she count, can't she pay attention to what half of the box she is in" and the answer is yes she can, and maybe she should.  But If I'm going to become the dancer I want to be, my leads must be definitive and unmistakeable, and I have to know at all times what beat we're on and where in the box we are, and tell her all of that with my body.  Being indecisive and unclear is not acceptable.

Leading promenade is about right turning action with my right arm, and possibly about a little positive pressure with my left to snuggle her in as my right arm rotates.  Plus, I really, really need to consistently lead or signal with my head.  Not only does it help my partner, but it looks fabulous.  And we want to look fabulous.

And I'm still working on automating rise and fall.

I'm listening deliberately and consciously to a lot of waltzes these days.  Thank god for amazon mp3 sales/downloads and for YouTube.  There are just so many waltzes I love, and so much of the music I love, and react most emotionally to, is waltz music.  I'm starting to really wonder how much the song, the lyrics, the instrumentation even matters - whether it's just the waltz rhythm and the feeling of motion and flow and romance it inspires in me.  In other words, I thought I liked, and was moved by particular songs, but now that I notice they're all waltzes, maybe it's not the individual song I like, maybe it's the category "waltz music".  To wit, some of my favorite waltzes include:

Saturday Sun - Nick Drake - Most of Nick Drake's stuff is pleasantly depressive and morose, but this piece is wistful and romantic and hopeful.  Turns out it's a waltz.

Sweet Baby James - This seemingly simple song is surprisingly moving, and turns out it's a waltz.

Play me - Neil Diamond - There are about 4  or 5 Neil Diamond songs that I like moderately well.  This one is by far the most moving.  It's a waltz.

Valz after Jan-Olof Olsson - JPP   JPP are a Finnish folk group that I ran into at a folk music festival I attended with a friend.  There are a bunch of fiddlers, a bassist, and they often use a nyckelharpa, which is like a keyed fiddle with drone strings (I swear it's true - google it) that make it sound a lot like a set of bagpipes.  Plus, it looks like a bear to tune.  Anyway, these guys were fiddling along and I was enjoying it moderately well, but nothing particular was standing out.  Then they started this tune that began with a lone nyckelharpa singing out wistfully, and when the other fiddlers and  bassist joined in, it was like blown-away man.  The sound and emotion hit me in the chest and woke me up and I was suddenly and very emotionally engaged.  Turns out the Finnish word is "Valz"...


Take it to the Limit - Eagles - I'm a big Eagles fan, this is one of my favorites.  Waltz.




Blue Spanish Sky - Chris Isaak   I'm a Chris Isaak fan too, but favorites... Waltz.


If you Don't Know Me By Now - Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, or Simply Red, or Seal, or many others.  Let's just say I don't even know any other songs by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes (I don't think...), but...   Waltz.

Nothing Else Matters - Metallica  Far and away my favorite Metallica tune.  Waltz

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot.  I didn't know I cared so deeply about the Great Lakes maritime tradition, and the risks that merchant mariners take in the name of commerce.  Maybe it's just the fact that it's  a waltz.  Actually, it's a *Viennese* waltz which is like the triple espresso of waltzes (so are a bunch of the above....)

The Rainbow Connection - Kermit the frog.  Seriously?  I'm getting a little emotional over a song by a muppet???  I blame the waltz.




Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin
Come Away with Me - Norah Jones
Moon River - Andy Williams
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
(I can't help) Falling in Love with You - Elvis
Eidelweiss and My Favorite Things - The Sound of Music (Viennese, naturally)
Lara's Theme - Dr Zhivago
Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
Kiss From a Rose - Seal
Que Sera, Sera - Doris Day (Viennese)
You Light Up my Life - Everybody
Three Times a Lady - Commodores
House of the Rising Sun - Animals
Annie's Song - John Denver (Viennese)
Themes from Romeo and Juliet, The Godfather, The Cider House Rules, even Finding Nemo

If you want a romantic, wistful, moving, flowing song with a lot of momentum (emotional and physical), you want a waltz.

Waltz - Promenade and Twinkle

So here's the data dump on my Waltz group class the other night.

It was a fairly full and almost perfectly balanced class, we were short one lady. We spent the first half of class working on promenade - most of us had some familiarity with the move, but we all could use work on it. The latter part of the class we spent on twinkle and left and right twinkle (or as we called the move, "George"...) I hadn't been exposed to twinkle and left and right twinkle, but I managed to pick up the basics and footwork fairly quickly. Just the last half of promenade, starting at the other end of the box, on the other foot. The nuggets I was most in need of were those having to do with my frame and lead.

The mantra "nose and toes" is something I'd heard before, and my interpretation is that the point is to signal definitively with your head and toes, without getting your hips too much out of square. I definitely have a tendency to not lead the promenade with my head, and one of my partners really helped me understand how important that is to her following, because she just had a much harder time following when I got sloppy with my head. The other thing I need to remind myself is that it also looks fabulous.

The Young Turk really helped us pay attention to what the leader's right arm was doing during the "nose and toes" setup phase of promenade/twinkle. I'd been elongating my frame somewhat, but TYT pointed out that the gentlemen should actually be executing a right turning action with his right arm, resulting in a lady that's slightly more behind in frame, and slightly pivoted open - set up perfectly for promenade. Plus she ends up cradled in your right arm which gives her the stable, supportive structure she needs to really cut loose on her develope'.

The other thing that seemed to help a lot is my focusing on maintaining a positive connection with my left hand. The right turning action and frame elongation often felt like I was taking away the strong connection we had, and a positive left hand connection made that feel much more secure and definitive. This also made it feel like I was shifting slightly inside a strong, stable frame rather than it feeling sloppy.

Dancing with civilians

Well, I had a fun time last night. Learned some stuff.

Ballroom vs combat
OK, country dancing seen from a ballroom perspective is one thing, and what happens out in the world is entirely another. I'm used to only getting only momentary glimpses of the basic footwork under all the variations and enhancements when I watch the advanced students at the dance studio. But some of these folks were just doing basics and the footwork was different than anything I've seen. Now I'm not a dance historian, and it feels like the definitions are pretty loose (what I call the progressive two-step you may call a Texas two-step or a country two-step), but I sure couldn't figure out most couples' footwork even when there was a couple that was just basic-stepping around. It reminded me of High School, when I took Spanish so I'd be able to eavesdrop in the hallways, only to discover that the Spanish in the hallways and the Spanish in the classroom had almost nothing to do with each other. Maybe the lesson here is that it matters less than I think - I do tend to geek out on the details.


Traffic control
At one point a fast song came on that I thought I could jitterbug to. I ended up dancing with a friend who's pretty darn good, and we had a good time, but I foolishly started out kind of in a corner and of course we wandered into the line of dance. One couple in particular very nearly ran us over twice. It felt like a jerk move on his part, but maybe he was trying to make a point. I know better than to be doing a spot dance anywhere but right under the disco ball (in this case, a mirrored saddle, which every country bar should have).


Risk
I need to be much more willing to lead a spin and take some other chances. I spent more time than I like just motoring around the floor with basic footwork. Some of this is just me being timid in a new environment. Some of this is I'm not sure what my options are. Some of it is that stuff felt a lot less secure and more "wrong" out in the world, because of insufficient...



Frame
Dancing with civilians (versus folks at the dance studio) was a real eye-opener. Ladies, you need a frame too. The man you're dancing with needs your frame. It was like trying to steer a jello - it doesn't actually fight you at all, but you can't tell what's happening. It was much harder than it had to be to even tell if we were in sync, which means for the most part we weren't. I ended up having to be much more assertive than I'm used to at the dance studio. One sure way to move a jello is to just bulldoze it - but that barely counts as dancing. It appears that some gentlemen have decided to solve this problem with a giant dose of...



Chutzpah
Another pattern I saw a few times is that brazen self-confidence and unself-consciousness is frequently substituted for Rhythm and skill. There was this one dude, that wasn't doing any recognizable dance at ALL, whose beat had nothing whatsoever to do with the music, and who frequently got too busy yanking his partner through spins and flips and loop de loops and immelmanns to move his feet at all (she loved it). He was doing his same, very dynamic moves at the same brisk pace to everything - slow country, fast country, country rock, blues. And when his rhythm happened to mesh with the song, he didn't even keep that, particularly. He wasn't the only one, another fellow had a less advanced case. It was the bastard child of two-stepping and moshing. There were some very good and controlled and elegant dancers there, and at first I admired the professionals and disdained the guy who was mosh-stepping. But here's the deal. He was having as much fun as they were. And so was his partner. Possibly more. I ended up envying his lack of self-doubt. That's the kind of confidence and joy and exuberance that I hope Dancing will help me to express. Eventually. I doubt I'm temperamentally suited to the "get drunk and jump around" approach, but the dude had something wild and raw and cool going on.

Dance on.

Leading

It's important to me to be a strong lead. I'm starting to get the importance of a strong frame - that structure's how you communicate. I think I tend to be a little limp on my right arm, I think my shoulder is letting my elbow droop. I've been told that the structure comes primarily from my back, not from my shoulders. I'm still thinking about that - which is of course not the point, the point is to do it for a few hundred hours and not think, but I think about everything. I'll probably Google "dancing strong lead" after I post this and geek out.

It's also interesting that leading is boiling down to communicating what you're doing with your core - your center. Of course, the center is also a big deal in Aikido. I guess I shouldn't be surprised - both of these are arts that are all about moving a human figure (or two, I suppose) around on the planet, in gravity, staying balanced while in motion, moving with a purpose. Both of them have that tension between structure and flexibility - you're not stiff, but you've got structure. You need structure to make something happen. But you need flexibility, controlled flexibility to create the motion.

I'm starting to feel how to communicate to my partner, but there's a lot involved. My posture. My poise. My back and elbows. My footwork. I seriously need to get over my tendency to try to dodge around my partner's feet. Not only is that wrong, it's weak leading, but it muddies the signals she needs.

In Aikido I sometimes have a bad habit of moving around or sort of glancing off my partner's center, when I should be moving my center through theirs. On the dance floor I'm not as definitive and decisive as I'd (and my partner'd) like me to be. Part of that is I don't know what I'm doing yet, in fact I often don't know what my options even are. It's hard to be definitive when my brain runs off the little island of what I know - like Wiley Coyote ten feet beyond the cliff edge, holding up a little sign reading "Now What?". But part of it is just that attitude I need of "Now, I am doing THIS". Decide and act. Unapologetically, decisively, unambiguously. Maybe dance will help my Aikido. I'm sure Aikido will help my dance.

I'm also not spending enough time just dancing between lessons. Lessons tend to pile on as much new information as I can take, or a little bit more, which is fine and wonderful and good value and responsible teaching. That's all good. But because I think about everything, and because I ultimately need to stop thinking I need hours of dancing just for practice. I think I'm going to try to find another student to just drill with - do the new thing I learned about 20 times in a row till my body starts feeling it. Or maybe I'll discuss this with my teachers and figure out how to get some drill time. As it is now, I get back on the dance floor and am trying to think what to do, instead of being in a place where I'm just moving.

Having fun.