How it all began

I never thought I'd be taking dance lessons. I've been on a pretty deliberate self improvement kick for a year or two and dance lessons weren't on the short list. They weren't even on the long list. They weren't on ANY list. If you'd have suggested them, I'd have reacted like most men I know - like I was going to get cooties. And I'm not kidding - people HAVE suggested dance lessons to me in the past, and I sneered and ridiculed them. So I owe all those people an apology now - if you're one of them, find me and remind me, and I'll apologize and buy you a coffee or something.

So as a warning to other young men, here is my story. Here is how they suck you in and trap you in an experience that will enrich your character, expand your horizons and change your life.


I was eating dinner at a club one night, and instead of the usual karaoke or kickball crowd (really, I swear, they have tee shirts and everything...), people began showing up. People dressed to go out. I notice these people are pretty fit and slender, which is, sadly, rare enough to make them stand out. One lass shows up, and this girl is Put Together for an Event. She's got the sexy heels, and is in an actual dress which is also, sadly, rare around here. Whoever she's meeting will definintely be glad to see her. She heads over by where the DJ is set up, and where I now see a big happy guy in a Hawaiian shirt. I'm a nerd, so I'm not sure, but "Hawaiian shirt" feels different than "dressed to go out". If she's there to meet him, they didn't coordinate that much...

Anyway, the DJ is spinning Latin beats and these people start dancing. Like for-real dancing, not random twitching, You know, spinning and turning and stuff. Coordinated movement between two people. Like that. Hawaiian shirt guy gets even happier, because he's the only guy there so far, and he's in high demand, he needs one of those "take a number" machines. To me he doesn't look like he's the best dancer in the world - some of the time he's not moving his feet at all, he's just concentrating on spinning his partner. But when he moves it works, so he's got some kind of training or practice in his background. What he's doing looks totally doable. And he's having as much fun as is permitted by law.

Of course (as I would learn in my very first lesson), Dancing isn't about the guy, it's about showing off the lady. And these ladies are having fun and showing off. Put Together Woman (who we will now call the DanceEvangelista, for reasons which will soon become obvious) is a really, really good dancer. In my experience, there are two levels of good in most things. There is level one of good, which is totally obvious if you know something about the activity, but which is often lost on the outsider, and there's level two good, which is obvious even to an outsider, and as you learn more about it, just gets more and more impressive. The DanceEvangelista is level two good, and it showed even to my untrained eye in the span of about 15 minutes.

Some other Gentlemen show up, including Mustachios and Slender Latin Fella, and these guys are clearly better dancers than Hawaiian Shirt is. I 'm starting to see what is possible, but Hawaiian Shirt keeps reminding me it would probably be pretty easy to get started. And everybody is just having too much fun.

Of course, I'm too self-conscious to actually try anything, or ask any questions, but I am very much enjoying the show, and it's dawning on me why my Mom and everybody else kept saying that I should take Dance lessons. People come in and out, everybody has a different style, but the theme is "fun".

I get ready to leave, and I'm disappointed to notice that the DanceEvangelista has apparently left. Oh well, I guess I won't be learning to dance after all. I could ask one of the remaining dancers, but they're all the way Over There and the door is Right Here... (yes, I make excuses. I'm aware. Deal with it.)

Still, a pretty good night, all in all. Maybe I'll find out about dance lessons someday. I get in my car and head out.

And lo and behold, I drive past the DanceEvangelista and her boyfriend getting into a car in the parking lot. Sometimes the Universe is willing to give you ANOTHER hint. What the hell. I roll down my window and say "You guys were having too much fun, that's great" ... "Thanks" ... I ask "how would I get started ...?" And that triggers the DancEvangelista like she's an attack dog that just got the command. She more or less shoves the boyfriend out of the way and tells me "I'm an instructor at such-and-such studio, we have an introductory package that ...." I swear if she'd had a business card on her, I'm sure it would have been flicked into the center of my forehead like a ninja star. "Uhhhh... Thanks and good night".

In a couple of days, I make an appointment at the Dance Studio and show up to see what's what. I chat with a very pleasant, confident, mellow guy, and then he hands me over to Teach for my intro lesson. Teach asks me enough about myself to get a feel for how I learn, and immediately gets the fact that I'm a nerdly type that lives all up in my head. Not that I hide that, but it's cool that she's trying to reach me where I live. I'm not the first nerd they've taught, of course. I end the lesson only fractionally better than I began, but that's actually pretty impressive considering my total lack of experience or even a mental framework for any of this.

And there are other dancers there, Instructors and students, moving with grace and style. Inspiring, and awesome, and enviable. And some students that are on the wrong foot or locking up in confusion, or asking questions, all of which I've already done, and will clearly keep doing for a while.

And then the DanceEvangelista grabs me and gets a chance to do the OTHER thing she does really, really well - selling. And I say this with the highest respect - in a previous job I was the designated nerd for our sales staff, and I know second hand how important and difficult a job sales is. A good salesperson helps you see what's possible and shows you how your life can be made better, and makes it real to you. And the DanceEvangelista is hitting it out of the park, in addition to literally being a walking advertisement for dance awesomeness. (I'm starting to kinda hope she doesn't read this - wouldn't want her to get a big head....) It helps that she really, really believes in her product, and the staff, and the program, with good reason. It's frankly overwhelming. I know I'm a dilettante that's likely to lose interest and wander off after a while, and this is clearly her Life's Purpose (tm). That's intimidating to those of us who don't have one, and aren't likely to. But intimidated or not, there's fun and challenge and masculinity and grace over that horizon, and so I'm in.