Why Dance?

Hi

I'm a dance noob, and I plan to blog about it as a learning exercise and for fun.

I've always been up in my head and don't consider myself a natural athlete. I tend to have my nose buried in a book or a computer screen. Through high school I basically avoided exercise like I was allergic, taking the bare minimum of PE and I sure didn't let the gym door hit me in the ass on the way out. I hardly played any sports in High school, but years later I realized my actual problem was social, not physical or athletic. High School sports were team sports. It turns out I kind of like the "Sports" part, I didn't like the "Team" part.

I moved around a little more in College. I learned to ski and and took some Karate, which I enjoyed. After college I did some Rock Climbing and kayaking, and kept skiing, and these slowly started to open my world. I got decent at skiing and pretty good at kayaking and for the first time in my life experienced flow - when you're in the moment and you're not up in your head. I had no idea that that could even happen to me. I was probably 25. I experienced it in Karate and Rock climbing too, but there it was more about the immediacy of mortal fear than skill.

On the other hand, there is a decent amount of music in my background. I played trumpet in high school, and was a total band nerd. Later I taught myself a bit of guitar - I'm not very good, but know enough to be impressed by a real guitarist. I never got to be a good enough musician to "flow" during a performance, I was always thinking my way through a piece. Which is one of the big reasons I'm not that good. That, and scales are BORING... Of course, like everyone, I've got a big tangled ball of emotions and music and memories my heart, which is why love songs touch us so, and why the score is so important in movies (and commercials!)

But my only dance experience was hanging off Sue Ann O'Malley's shoulders in junior high (I was short), confused, aroused, shuffling my feet and sweating to "Angie". But the band background means I've got decent rhythm for a white guy.

Over the last year I've decided to get more in my body (that statement right there tells you how much I overthink EVERYTHING), and in the moment, and I'm trying not to be always up in my head. I've started working out, hard, so I feel the weight of the iron, and to get those last few reps or steps when you feel like your body is rubber. I got back into Martial Arts, starting Aikido, which I've always been interested in because it's so circular and flowing and because it can be peaceful and fierce, gentle and powerful, flowing and devastating, all at the same time.

And over the last month or so, I'm learning to dance. I didn't expect or plan on this, it sort of surprised me, but I'm very happy with this decision, learning to dance meets a lot of my personal goals right now.

* I want to be more comfortable in social situations
* I want to explore my masculinity
* I want to explore sensuality, passion and emotion
* I want to move well and show myself off, and be comfortable doing so
* I want to get out of my head and in my body, in the moment, unselfconscious
(get used to seeing that phrase)

Even a noob like me can see that dance is an awesome way to explore these areas and approach these goals. And I suspect that, like Aikido, it can be a long road that's more about the journey than the destination. But it was surprising to realize I feel this way, because whenever anyone suggested dancing or learning to dance in the past, I reacted like a seven year old who still thinks girls have cooties. The folks at the Dance Studio asked what dances I wanted to learn and I had to answer "I dunno". I'm vaguely aware that there are different dances, but the only ones that I could think of are Tango and Waltz.

So far it's just footwork and basics, but I'm having fun, and occasionally I stop thinking for a second or two and the music just moves me. Then, of course I'm right back up in my head (and find that my body has stopped moving). But I'll be chasing that moment again.

Noob.