Two Leaders - Argentine Tango

I've been spending a lot of time dancing Argentine Tango lately, and at a recent milonga, I witnessed a vision of two leaders.

The first was dancing with what I suspect was his girlfriend, she danced with him several times, though not every dance.  She also danced with other men but he didn't dance with other women.  She was definitely the better dancer, I suspect that she was introducing him to Tango.

He wasn't a total beginner, he knew salida and a few other moves.  But what  drove me crazy (and I suspect, his dance partner as well) was his tentativeness.  He didn't keep a rhythm, he was hesitant when he moved, and when he wasn't moving he was nervous and twitchy.  I kept seeing what looked like false starts and indecision. His partner seemed nervous and hyper-alert, she realized she had no idea what was coming next, and neither did he, and it could happen at any instant, without warning.  It looked as though he was second guessing himself until he figured out the right thing - he'd have been better off doing the wrong thing calmly, definitively and rhythmically.

The second was  a young man, but obviously experienced.  He was calm and rhythmic and deliberate.  His dancing was simple and unadorned, but very clear and patient.  I saw him dance with a woman I know who's had about six months of ballroom dancing and basically an hour or so of Argentine Tango, and he made her look beautiful and graceful and elegant.  When she did something different than he led, he just handled it without lifting an eyebrow.  When things got tricky, he just slowed everything down - he would just be still for a few beats, and then he would start moving again in half time.  And when he was still, he was so beautifully still.  He wasn't just static and frozen either, he'd move or sway or change his embrace but he was able to do it in a way that told his partner "we're just being still right now".  When he moved she knew it just enough in advance.  Everything he did looked (and I imagine felt) inevitable.

I so badly want to be guy number 2.

So here's my plan.

Work on frame and lead and clarity first.  Figures and moves come later.

Be willing to just be still.  Learn what movements say "we're staying here" vs "we're moving now".  Learn to eliminate anything that's twitchy or indeterminate.  Decide to be still, and communicate that.

Let go of the beat and don't try too hard to follow the music.  Remember that it's easy to dance too fast (for your partner, or your skill level, or your ability to lead), but it's nearly impossible to dance too slowly.

Dance Simply.