Showing posts with label Emotional Connection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional Connection. Show all posts
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Why I keep coming back to Tango
There are no mistakes in tango. This has meaning on so many levels. The simplest is that without set figures and steps, nothing is off the table - you can
attempt anything, and hopefully you can make it beautiful (some movements make this easier than others of course).
Tango is sexy and passionate and intimate and filled with longing and strife and anger and tenderness and beauty.
It's uniquely challenging and difficult. I like difficult things, it turns out.
It demands a level of balance and awareness and body control that I didn't experience in other dances. Not that other dances lack that, I just think that it comes later in the learning sequence. With Tango it begins on day 1. I danced ballroom styles for over a year and didn't realize that I was essentially falling onto every step the whole time. Once I started tango, I figured it out in about a week, and started correcting it in the first month. And this vastly improved all my other dancing.
The music is beautiful. And various. You can dance tango to nearly anything, because it's so improvisational and flexible. You can tango to classic tangos (Bahia Blanca is a favorite of mine, along with "Por una Cabeza" (Scent of a Woman" and "True Lies"), or modern tangos ("Whatever Lola Wants", "Roxanne") or waltzes ("valz" in spanish), to pop music. I've tangoed to Adele "Make you Feel my Love", to Elvis Costello "Watching the Detectives", to Lorde "Royals" and Amy Winehouse " I'm no good" - a wonderful fit for tango.
The Gallantry and old school chivalry of dancing in general holds very much in tango, and that appeals to me as well. The man leads, and the woman follows, but the goal is to provide a pleasant and fulfilling experience for the woman. She should be intrigued, happy, and feel like she is dancing beautifully and that all are looking on her with amazement and envy.
I'm most familiar with the leader's role and responsibilities, but the woman's is no less daunting. I've tried to follow, and being on your axis and prepared to move in any direction requires an alertness and a kind of a zen mind that I found supremely challenging. Another factor (shared with other dances) is the fact that when something is led, the woman must aggressively pursue and execute the step or move. A combination of stillness and motion, of waiting peacefully, and moving confidently, and a willingness to essentially trade the lead with the man as the music inspires is required.
The man must quickly learn and dance to his partner's level of experience and vocuabulary, and his lead must be authoritative and unmistakeable while still being gentle and considerate of however long her response may take. If any signals get crossed (either through a vague lead or difficulty following), the man must seamlessly accommodate whatever has actually happened, ideally without ever letting on to his partner or observers that anything unexpected has occurred. The woman should always feel that she knows what is being asked of her, and should never feel like she performed anything less than perfectly. The man must be able and willing to give her time to dance as the music inspires her, and there will be times when she is inspired to change her pace or include embellishments or even perform something that was not explicitly led. A leader must always have a plan, but when the lady requests time or even takes the lead, he must smoothly and elegantly accommodate that. At all times the man must dance with confidence. There are no mistakes in tango, and the man must ensure that.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
What's the point?
"My Methodist Grandmother Said" by Mary Mackey, from Breaking the Fever
My Methodist Grandmother Said
My Methodist
grandmother said
dancing
was adultery
set to music
how right she was
in that sweet sway
breast to breast and
leg to leg
sin comes into its own
[...]
Read the whole thing...
Friday, September 28, 2012
Turkish Rumba
I went to a Rumba group class taught by the young Turk recently. He's
a piece of work - he started at the studio after I did, but he was
dedicated, focused and single minded (I'm generally... not so much), and now he's an instructor. He's clearly a natural athlete
(which I am not - more about that later) and a natural or very learned performer (also, me, not). Don't get me wrong, he put in the time and worked
his ass off and deserves it. He's also a good teacher. Lots of
natural athletes can do it right after seeing it a few times, but
can't break it down, analyze and articulate it, and talk about it to a
nerdy, all-up-in-my-head learner like me. Lest you think I have a crush on him, I'll just mention he talks really really fast. Maybe he's talking as fast as he learned. I kept waiting for my brain to catch
up with his words. Not even the concepts or an understanding, just the
words....
It was an intense class - we definitely got our money's worth. He expects you to learn fast too. He covered a fairly long series in a single class. I felt like I was a little behind and never quite catching up all class, but I never felt like I'd completely lost sight of him. As soon as I started feeling like the footwork was coming along he was talking about frame and leading and using the floor and cuban motion. But if we started thinking about that too much and lost the basic footwork, he dropped all that, declared it optional, and hit the basics again. Intimidating, but we really did cover a lot of ground.
I also took a class on "dancing with emotion" that he taught. He says it's a class he finds challenging to teach, and it's incredibly challenging to learn, for me personally. I'm usually up in my head and thinking about footwork, leading, frame, floorcraft, and a million other things. I've gotten feedback on my dancing that uses words like "distant" and "platonic", and I was not dancing with my sister at the time. I have a very easy time getting up in my head and a very hard time getting in my body. And an even harder time getting out and making a connection with my dance partner. Having a million details that want to be in my head and aren't automatic in my body doesn't help. The only thing that's automatic is beat, and I still manage to get onto the wrong foot and have to restart that once in a while. But all this is between me and my partner. There have been a couple of exceptions, but...
The Turk used Rumba which he characterized, wonderfully, as "the pillow talk dance", and Argentine tango. The point of the Argentine tango, I think, was to free us from the straightjacket of rhythm, and let us move and feel, feel and move. Of course, for me, rhythm isn't a straightjacket, it's a comfy tee shirt I wear all the time. On the other hand, the rhythm in my body is definitely something I lean on, and not having to think about rhythm isn't sufficient to get me out making a connection with my partner. Maybe knocking away that crutch was helpful.
Of course, I've had no Argentine tango, so for the most part it was just a new set of footwork for me to distract/occupy/obsess myself with. Not good for connecting to my partner. But that's me, I'd have found another excuse not to connect.
And connecting with a partner is very much the point, and the challenge for me. If she's not there and real and human, and I'm not aware of her body, I can't lead, I can't respond to where she's at, I can't guide and protect and display her as I should, and desire. And we're both missing most of the fun.
Not to mention, connecting with my partner is the point in other, deeper ways.
It was an intense class - we definitely got our money's worth. He expects you to learn fast too. He covered a fairly long series in a single class. I felt like I was a little behind and never quite catching up all class, but I never felt like I'd completely lost sight of him. As soon as I started feeling like the footwork was coming along he was talking about frame and leading and using the floor and cuban motion. But if we started thinking about that too much and lost the basic footwork, he dropped all that, declared it optional, and hit the basics again. Intimidating, but we really did cover a lot of ground.
I also took a class on "dancing with emotion" that he taught. He says it's a class he finds challenging to teach, and it's incredibly challenging to learn, for me personally. I'm usually up in my head and thinking about footwork, leading, frame, floorcraft, and a million other things. I've gotten feedback on my dancing that uses words like "distant" and "platonic", and I was not dancing with my sister at the time. I have a very easy time getting up in my head and a very hard time getting in my body. And an even harder time getting out and making a connection with my dance partner. Having a million details that want to be in my head and aren't automatic in my body doesn't help. The only thing that's automatic is beat, and I still manage to get onto the wrong foot and have to restart that once in a while. But all this is between me and my partner. There have been a couple of exceptions, but...
The Turk used Rumba which he characterized, wonderfully, as "the pillow talk dance", and Argentine tango. The point of the Argentine tango, I think, was to free us from the straightjacket of rhythm, and let us move and feel, feel and move. Of course, for me, rhythm isn't a straightjacket, it's a comfy tee shirt I wear all the time. On the other hand, the rhythm in my body is definitely something I lean on, and not having to think about rhythm isn't sufficient to get me out making a connection with my partner. Maybe knocking away that crutch was helpful.
Of course, I've had no Argentine tango, so for the most part it was just a new set of footwork for me to distract/occupy/obsess myself with. Not good for connecting to my partner. But that's me, I'd have found another excuse not to connect.
And connecting with a partner is very much the point, and the challenge for me. If she's not there and real and human, and I'm not aware of her body, I can't lead, I can't respond to where she's at, I can't guide and protect and display her as I should, and desire. And we're both missing most of the fun.
Not to mention, connecting with my partner is the point in other, deeper ways.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)